Never, ever underestimate the power, of the power of what ever it is that make coincidences and signs come your way. I’ve had so many this last few days it’s not true.
Inviting my nephew to a mediation class created him to invite a couple of his friends, one of whom he’d been saying for a while I should meet. And we did, and as my clever nephew suspected we hit it off – big time. I’m going to call her L, basically because this is what her name starts with but I want to protect her just in case she doesn’t want to be on here.
As we walked to the class she began to tell me about her gift, her skill at Tarot cards, her visions and her guides. She told me that her guides talked to her all the time and had messages for people around her. I resisted the temptation to ask what they were saying about me. When we got to the meditation lesson about 15 minutes late, it turned out that L knew the leader of the class and the woman who was to be our guide, her name also begins with an L; for fu**s sake, this is getting complicated. If I call her L2 she’s going to sound like a chemical and and no one should be made to feel like they’ve come in second so I’m going to call her P.
This is connection number 1.
I’ve been struggling a lot just lately with everything I’m going through. The distance between where I am and where I want to be physically, mentally, emotionally and geographically is overwhelming. As we all sat or lay in our meditation class I began to cry, I managed not to disturb my fellow class mates, but I did have pools of water in my ears by the time I’d finished.
When we were done with our meditation P asked me if I’d had an opportunity offered to me? I said no I hadn’t. She asked me if I had been thinking about undertaking a project? I said yes, hundreds of them, all the time. This left her a little bit perplexed, she didn’t seem to be able to see past that answer so we left it there. However, this did eventually lead to connection number 3.
Pointing me in the Right Direction
As we walked away from the class I strolled alongside L, we discussed the meditation session and what we’d got out of it. I admitted that I’d cried and she said she knew I had, that she had almost reached out to touch me with comfort but thought better of it.
She began to talk to me about my being upset, but she wasn’t talking to me, her guides were. A lot of what they said was so accurate it was unbelievable, it was scary and it was comforting in equal measure. I don’t come across spirits very often, and I realise I’m not alone with this fact, not many of us do. But I do believe that there is something out there that isn’t us in this human form, so I took everything she had to tell me without any kind of barrier at all. I listened.
She told me I was already part way on my journey to finding out who I really was. That my tears that come so often at the moment is me letting go of the past. That I’m not actually rolling back down the hill towards depression, that this is a good thing, a positive thing and I should embrace it, not fight it like I have been doing. She told me that I’m not going mad, I’m growing. She told me to let go of my ego, to stop giving it power and to listen to me, my true me.
Connection number 2
I’ve mentioned on here a couple of times my efforts to make money to get myself back to Australia, there are lots of other factors besides making money that determine the exact date I get to go back but that’s all for another blog post. I have a friend in the Cayman Islands and she and I have been talking a lot recently about working together, there are a couple of ideas that have manifested themselves during these conversations but nothing concrete yet. She’s been on her own journey of self discovery over the last couple of years and I can tell by the conversations we’ve been having and the way she presents herself that she’s in a much better place than she has been for a long time. She has always had a leaning towards a more esoteric, spiritual sense than I have, but, and I’m sure she won’t mind me saying, it got lost in amongst the other things she had going on, it seems it’s found its place in her life now and she’s all the better for it. I have a feeling she may be part of my growth, a guide and a mentor when I need her, I also think we may end up working together in a very harmonious and mutually profitable way.
She and I were talking today. I was explaining the happenings of yesterday to her and as I did I started to cry – again! She supported what L had told me and encouraged me to get the tears out of me. As I was recovering from my sobs she asked me about my writing, I told her my heart wasn’t in it, that I was too busy working on other things to think about writing for myself. She told me it was my craft, my art and that I should find pleasure in it. She told me it would be cathartic and help me understand what I was going through – all the reasons why I started it in the first place! My brain refused to listen and my anxiety took over. She promised not to nag and we left it at that.
And Then This Happened
I had an email from the woman who is my manager and editor at Copypress, the company in America I sometimes work for. She told me that my DA (domain authority) was no longer high enough for Hipmunk, the organisation I’ve been subletting my blog to, so they couldn’t give me any more work until I raised it somewhat. Doing that is a bit complicated and technical, but possibly possible with the right kind of work on it.
I can’t afford to lose the £150 to £200 I get each month from them. Losing so much money each month scares me and for a little while I actually thought about going to get a proper job. I panicked for an hour or so and then I sat and worked out how much more eBay listing I would have to do to make up the difference, and the answer was a lot. The syndication work was earning me about £50 an hour, it will take me about 4 hours of Ebay listing to earn that much. This is a major blow for me financially and to my time.
I was despondent to say the least; and then I had a thought. What if I do what my friend in Cayman suggested and write my blog again? What if I do it for pleasure, for personal release, to better understand myself, AND to get it’s ranking back up? Is this connection number 3? Is this the opportunity P told me I was going to get? It might seem like a strange one at first, a kind of anti opportunity but as L said yesterday there are connections everywhere. I thanked my guides for this chance, for showing me the way to turn a negative into a positive and I started to write.
Here goes, lets see what happens.